


From The End to The Beginning

by NyxSolei



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Infidelity, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 06:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxSolei/pseuds/NyxSolei
Summary: It's the 28th time. Hongbin had enough.It's a turn in his and Wonshik's relationship, where they must face unspoken problems.





	From The End to The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This just came out of my frustrations at work and home-- (Which is why I haven't been updating promptly)I hope you enjoy ^^

It's the 28th time he has come home as a complete wreckage. He's drunk, moving groggily from side to side, stumbling as if the world shakes his grounds unevenly. The reek is impossible- both of sweat and alcohol, an  _ intense _ amount of the two.

“No.” The other tells him, hands drawn protectively in what seems a judgmental way - crossed over his chest and eyes baring a hole into the man's presence.

“Fuck off,” He replies, fumbling with the laces of his shoes, struggling to open and withdraw from  _ some _ of the stench. His hand rakes through his damp red hair and he sighs heavily.

The other doesn't move. He moved all the other 27 times, and Hongbin counts, but this time he won't. He can't. He doesn't  _ want to _ .

Instead, Hongbin stills with a stern look on his soft features, watching every movement the man at the door makes.

“ _ Fuck off _ ?” He asks, fuming and boiling silently, “That's the best you have for me? Do you know what time is it?” But Hongbin knows reasoning with the other when he's in this catatonic state is absolutely impossible. He'd gotten used to seeing him like that, and that thought on it's own is terrifying. How did it go wrong like that?

The rain taps furiously, lightning warning before the thunder roars and the drunk one missteps and falls to the floor. However, Hongbin will not help him up, not matter how much it  _ aches _ in his heart to see the scene.

“Ah, shit..” The one on the floor growls, “Bin-ah, help me.” He says, almost soundly.

Hongbin nearly helps him, but taking his lip between his teeth, he ceases his instincts from acting.

“Where have you been, Wonshik?” Hongbin asks instead as there's another roll of thunder. He wonders for a moment whether or not Wonshik's dog will wake from this.

Wonshik sighs, “With Jongin and Taemin.”

Finally, an answer.

“Where?” Not enough of an answer.

“At the park, I think?” Then, Wonshik somewhat giggles, and that uncoordinated laughter makes Hongbin want to cry. Lately, this is how their conversations go - barely coherent, barely fluid, barely there.

“Please, stop laughing.” Hongbin asks, with no reason other than voicing out his frustration, “god--  **Wonshik** !” He cried out, “Shut up!”

And the latter does. And his amused face turns into one of confusion and as he rises to meet Hongbin closer, the confusion turns to anger, dormant and only starting to surface.

“What the fuck, Bin?”

Hongbin wants to look away but knows he shouldn't.

“What the fuck?” He repeats, needing time to organize the countless word and emotions that swim violently in his mind-- nonstop.

“You've been gone ever since you went to your damn studio, and I couldn't contact you-” Hongbin rushes his talk, but when Wonshik tries to interfere and sooth it with ‘ _ babe _ ’ and- ‘ _ Binnie _ ’, he slows down, speaking each part with meaning, “Then you come home, wasted, smelling like shit from nightmares, expecting me to just let it slide?” Hongbin  _ rages _ , but it's a quiet type of rage. He does not need volume, for that will only cause chaos as he had learned from the precedent times with his drunk lover.

“I wan'ed,” Wonshik slurs, stepping closer to the other, “A drink.” It's the best explanation he could get from him right now.

“God, Wonshik, do you even care about me?” Hongbin is however, not satisfied with the explanation he got. He combs through his hair aggressively, looking away then back, watching his lover with wide, teary eyes, expecting to be granted something that he may never have.

“Of course I do.” Wonshik ushers, stumbling away from the lucid one, finding his way to the kitchen, just like he does every time, “I care about you more than anything babe.” And again, there's that giggle that could burst Hongbin out of his composed bubble, even though he's nothing but beneath the unmoving surface.

“You spend every evening and night with your friends and come home to me like this!” Hongbin tries to hold it in, “No, no, Wonshik, this won't do. I'm not having this.” With that, he forcefully grasps the other's wrist, dragging him to the entrance, “I'm not fucking having this!” He shouts, for the first time tonight.

“Stop! The fuck are you doing?” Wonshik growls back, trying to pry his hand back, confused as he is. This has never happened before, Hongbin never snapped at him before.

“I'm kicking you out. Get out.” Hongbin throws at him a pair of shoes and an umbrella and folds his arms again. He won't budge. He won't lose. Not again.

“This is my house!” Wonshik screams, yanking the shoes away,”You can't kick me out!” 

“Yes, I can, and I am.”

“Fuck, Hongbin-” Wonshik sighs, then steps back only to step further again, “I’m stressed out!” He tries explaining, but his tongue and mind aren't siding with him, “It's-It's your fault!”

Hongbin glares at him, “My- _ fucking _ -fault?”

“Yes!” A thunder claps loudly, and Wonshik leans back for a single moment, “Ever since the last come back you've been doing shit behind my back!”

“ _ What?” _ Hongbin stares at him stoically.

“You think I'm stupid? I know about what you did with Taek-hyung!’

Hongbin wants to be the martyr. He wants to be the right one. He wants to be sinless so his rage would be justified, so his conscience won't budge. He wants to scream that he's done nothing wrong and that Wonshik is to blame, but this isn't the case.

Last comeback, with the promotions of 'Scentist’, he was feeling awfully lonely, since both his leader and his lover were overworking themselves in order to finish everything in time. He'd spend long nights and days likewise, watching the empty dorm, vacant of company. At first, he was understanding of the situation - there's much to do, and there isn't much  _ he _ can do to aid it. Then, he became sad, for he receives his lover once in a while to their shared bed, completely powerless and soulless. They didn't even share a single kiss at that time, even less touch one another, and that's when Hongbin became neglected and grief-full. 

He had cried, so many hours, so many times, and smoked piles of packets as if his voice doesn't matter, nor his well-being. It happened only once, this mishap.

He spent the night on the dorm's roof, smoking his sleep away, when an older member joined his solace.

There wasn't much needed to make Hongbin fall to infidelity, a simple gesture such as putting a comforting hand on his knee, a knowing glance and the younger's tears burst like a river overpowering a dam. Neglectance, it's harsh and devastating, and it's the only thing that he could think of when unfamiliar lips moved up and down.

“Wonshik..” He meekly mutters. Hongbin cannot, and would not forget the foreign feeling of someone touching him in a way that was saved only for the one he truly loves, “It was a mistake.” He admits.

“How can I even  _ look _ at you or at Taek-hyung when I know he had his hands on you?” Wonshik rages, knocking off the small table at the entrance a few of the things that were on it - keys, pictures, some neglected mismatching parts of  _ something _ .

Hongbin’s heart sours to those words, and his look drops, watching the scattered items on the floor.

“He was  _ my best friend _ , Hongbin.” Wonshik wants to cry in frustration, but he will not. Not yet, not when there are a thousand better things to say and do at this moment, “And fuck, I really  _ loved _ you, how could you do this to me?” His voice wavers at the end.

“Loved?” Hongbin asks, “I know that what did was wrong!” He shouts back, “But it was only because  _ you _ keep away from me! Then, just like now!”

“Then you should fucking call Taekwoon and invite him over.” 

Those poisonous words are like blades that curve wounds inside the younger’s heart. It hurts. It  _ physically _ hurts to hear it. Hongbin wishes something would sort this out, as he has been avoiding the matter for as long as they have moved in together. He’s not a man of courage, neither is he a man of words, and thus the small snowball that only burdened to some extent became, and still becomes an overpowering snow-storm.

“I love you, Wonshik.” Is all he can come up with, “What happened to the days when we were with each other, doing nothing but just  _ talking _ ?” He asks in despair, “Don’t you love me anymore? You don’t want to be with me?”

“Of course I love you!” Wonshik shouts, “And that’s the fucking problem, Bin. You hurt me so much that every time I come near you, I get reminded how  _ hurt _ I am!” He breathes, “But I can’t leave you. I don’t want to leave you.”

The thunder claps harshly again, and some of the lights flicker. However, they don’t notice that. “Then what do you expect me to do?” Hongbin bites his lips, because otherwise he wouldn’t hold the tears back, “Tell me how to make it up to you.”

“I don’t know if you can.”

Hongbin turns around, letting the tears stream down his face - unsure whether it’s rage, despair, anger or grief or just a whirlpool of all those together. He isn’t sure what he feels, but nothing seems like a good type of feeling.

“That’s not fair.” He whispers, body shaking from the uneven breaths, “It’s breaking my heart seeing you like this, and I can’t do anything to make it up to you, and it’s all my fault, and I love you, and you love me, but you’re hurt and--” He stops. He stops because he feels a familiar figure engulfing him, bringing him closer and sharing some warmth that he has missed. 

It’s only a hug, but it means so much more than it. It means trust, and it means hope, and it means love.

It means that sometimes, the broken pieces cannot be picked by just one person.

“I’m sorry.” Wonshik says, barely audible, but just enough for Hongbin to hear, “We’ve been hurting each other.” He smells like alcohol and sweat, but feels like home, “Let’s stop.”

“Stop?” Hongbin whimpers, still shaky.

“Let’s stop hurting each other.” Wonshik clarifies, “I want  _ my _ Hongbin back.”

Hongbin turns, eyes red and nose runny from tears. In the older’s eyes, he looks lovely, for there’s nothing that will  _ never _ be lovely in this man. There’s still pain, and there’s still a wall that must be broken down in order to get what they want, but there’s also a will to do just that.

“I’m so sorry…” The younger buries his flushed face in the older’s chest, “I’m so sorry…” He repeats, broken, but hopeful.

 


End file.
